i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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