Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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