I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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