kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
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