Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
