dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
