super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
