I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
