Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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