My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i just google imaged poop.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
