that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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