it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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