So drunk its hurt
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
