"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize