Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
