I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize