i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
