im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
