I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
