$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
