When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
