Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
