So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Pants are for mortals
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
