You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
