dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
