Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
