DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
this just has baby written all over it
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
