Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
