So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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