Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
