It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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