Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
