dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
When are your genitals available?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
