OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
no you cant smoke seaweed
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i think im in europe. pls send help
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
