Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
