when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
