It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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