I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
