Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Did I show you my penis last night?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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