turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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