He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
