Pants 0. Shit 1.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
