i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize