All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
