I love black thongs
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
