final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
