Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
