covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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