So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
