Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
