Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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