420 ftw
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize