I'm jealous of your bromance
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
