U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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