i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
