i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
