At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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