He asked to "fluff my boner.."
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
