would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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